Skip to content

How to Introduce Toys in a Relationship for the First Time

by Emily Morrison 06 Oct 2023
How to Introduce Toys in a Relationship for the First Time

Discussing sex often unveils feelings of being exposed. It's a very personal talk—making it a delicate topic unless there's a lot of trust in your relationship. So, introducing sex toys can feel a bit uneasy at first.

Why Couples Explore Toys Together?

There could be many reasons why you'd want to introduce sex toys into your partnered sex life. Here are some:

  • Bringing fun to routine sex lives in long-term relationships.
  • Adding spice with a new partner.
  • Enhancing sexual performance.
  • Discovering new sensations for better pleasure.
  • Improving sex lives with satisfying experiences.
  • Bonding better and getting closer.
  • Achieving better orgasms during partnered sex.

At first, this might seem like a topic for couples' therapy, but think of the excitement new toys could bring to your routine.

Starting the topic of sex toys may not be smooth. So, here are some tips to start the conversation and head towards a more enjoyable sex life.

Communication is Key

Talking openly is the first step to bringing sex toys with your partner.

  1. It helps avoid surprises.
  2. It allows both to express their feelings and concerns.
  3. It sets a positive tone for using toys to enhance pleasure.

Like in any relationship, good communication is key to understanding desires and expectations, and it's no different when it's about sex.

Casting it in a Positive Light

Presenting the idea of using sex toys in a positive way helps ease any initial worries.

For example, your partner might feel unsure at first. But, showing toys as a fun addition can boost confidence and excitement.

Discussing toys as a fun extension and not a replacement can change the game. Starting with easy talks and moving to deeper conversations about how toys can add to the pleasure can be enlightening.

Express Your Intentions

Opening up about your desire to introduce sex toys can pave the way to a deeper understanding between you and your partner. It's about sharing your thoughts on how these toys could add a fun dimension to your shared experiences. Here's a more detailed breakdown on how to explain your reasons:

Clarify Your Motivation:

  • Are you looking to explore new sensations, add a playful element to your sex life, or perhaps address a particular issue?
  • Make it clear that it's about enhancing the joy and satisfaction for both of you, not substituting any aspect of your intimacy.

Invite Open Discussion:

  • Encourage your partner to share their thoughts, feelings, and any concerns they might have.
  • Ask about their curiosities or any fantasies they might have. It's a two-way street, and their input is crucial.

Highlight the Adventure:

  • Emphasize the exploratory and fun aspect of bringing toys into your relationship.
  • Talk about how it's a journey you both will embark on together, discovering new facets of your intimacy.

Reassure Emotional Connection:

  • Reiterate that the emotional and physical connection you share is unique and irreplaceable.
  • Toys are just tools to explore new horizons of pleasure and not a replacement for the bond you share.

Focus on Shared Pleasure:

  • Express your excitement about the mutual pleasure and new experiences that toys can bring.
  • It's about creating more fulfilling and enjoyable moments together.

Be Open to Feedback:

  • Stay open to your partner’s feedback before, during, and after you introduce toys.
  • Their comfort and enjoyment are paramount, and their feedback can help make the experience enjoyable for both of you.

Maintain a Positive Tone:

  • Keep the conversation light, positive, and enthusiastic.
  • Make sure to convey that it's about adding a fun element to your sex life, exploring together, and growing closer through new shared experiences.

Be Patient and Understanding

If your partner feels anxious, take a step back. Gradual talks about your sex life, not just about toys, can help make them feel comfortable. It's about ensuring they feel safe and that this is for the benefit of both.

Do Some Research Together

Having some articles ready can help ease the initial talks. Discussing such articles can help work the idea of toys into your sex life, showing that they aren't just for solo play but can also enhance pleasure during partnered sex.

Explore Together

Once you've shared thoughts and done some research, start exploring the variety of toys together. Discuss what you both enjoy and what feels comfortable, then delve into finding toys that meet both your desires. Remember, exploring new toys should be a fun adventure.

Let Your Partner Explore Solo First

Suggest that your partner tries the toys on their own first to feel more comfortable. Once they’ve explored, let them share what they liked and how you can enjoy that together.

Let Your Partner Lead Initially

Letting your partner take the lead in introducing the toy can help them feel more at ease. Reassure them that they're in control and respect their comfort levels. Over time, as they feel more confident, gentle suggestions can be introduced to uncover the enriched joy that toys can bring into your relationship.


Introducing toys can greatly enhance your intimacy and communication about sex. It's a thrilling venture into new dimensions of pleasure. If you're looking to solve a particular issue or just want to have more fun sex, toys can be a great addition to your sex life.

Our Recommendations

We take our recommendations seriously to ensure safe and satisfying experiences. We consider materials, electronic parts, safety tests, and expert evaluations. Ready to dive into the world of toys and boost your intimacy? Our guidelines and open talk can set you on a fun, explorative path.

Emily Morrison
Someone recently bought a
[time] ago, from [location]

Thanks for subscribing!

This email has been registered!

Shop the look

Choose Options

Recently Viewed

Edit Option
Back In Stock Notification
Terms & Conditions
Temporary Terms and Conditions Effective Date: 23/06/2019 These Temporary Terms and Conditions ("Terms") govern your use of [Your Website/Application Name] ("Service") during the specified temporary period. By accessing or using the Service during this time, you agree to be bound by these Terms. If you do not agree to these Terms, please do not use the Service. Use of the Service: During the temporary period, you may use the Service for its intended purpose, subject to these Terms. Modifications: We reserve the right to modify or discontinue the Service, temporarily or permanently, with or without notice. You agree that we shall not be liable to you or any third party for any modification, suspension, or discontinuation of the Service. User Responsibilities: You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of any account credentials or information used to access the Service. You agree to notify us immediately of any unauthorized use of your account or any other breach of security. Content: Any content you submit to or create within the Service must comply with our standard Terms of Use, if applicable. We may, at our discretion, remove any content that violates these Terms. Privacy: We may collect and use your information as described in our Privacy Policy. By using the Service, you consent to the collection and use of your information as outlined in the Privacy Policy. Intellectual Property: All intellectual property rights in the Service, including but not limited to copyrights, trademarks, and trade secrets, are owned by or licensed to us. You may not reproduce, distribute, modify, or create derivative works based on any part of the Service without our express written consent. Termination: We may terminate your access to the Service at any time and for any reason, with or without cause, without prior notice. Disclaimer: The Service is provided "as is" and "as available" without warranties of any kind, either express or implied. We do not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or reliability of the Service, and we disclaim all warranties, including but not limited to warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement. Limitation of Liability: To the fullest extent permitted by law, we shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages, or any loss of profits or revenues, whether incurred directly or indirectly, or any loss of data, use, goodwill, or other intangible losses, resulting from your use or inability to use the Service. Contact Information: If you have any questions or concerns regarding these Terms, please contact us at [Your Contact Information]. These Temporary Terms and Conditions constitute the entire agreement between you and Lilpleaser regarding your use of the Service during the specified temporary period. Staff Lilpleaser.
this is just a warning